| S.E.Y.H.B.S.B | the best days of my life |

I feel sick.

feel like puking.

cold hands and feet.

on/off headaches.

lousy moods.(sorry if i offended anyone, which i dont think happened cos i hardly speak to anyone today..)

TERRIBLE.

anyway, i feel like i am turning into a pain absorber.
as in, when people are unhappy, they turn to me for that listening ear.
i think i will be a successful counsellor.(the one where people go:"listen and just shut up! "kind)

but, when i am unhappy..they dont have the time to listen.u see.

so..wth.

absorb>>absorb>>>absorb!!

one day, when i reach my breaking point..good luck to you people.

i hope i'm made of much stronger material than this.

thanks for reading.

Labels: ALWAYS., Listening

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:48 AM

Today is a fine day=)

and its all because i cooked my own dinner.^.^

Firstly, i would like to state that i dont usually cook unless i am very happy, or contrastingly, very sad.

haha.cooked a rather fine plate of wings and fries today.

didnt fry my finger(thank goodness) but did get some burns.=)

but..it was worth it..yeah!

so satisifed.even though i havent marinated any chicken wings before..it was still OK.

conversation with sis=)

sis:huh?u sure u want to cook>?

me:why cannot leh?

sis:count me out.i'll eat cup noodles.

me:ok fine.

(after 10 mins)

sis:can not? (peeps at the fryer)

me: of course.(winks*)

bro:i want fries.

me:yah .ok..

me:marinated the wings with oregano leaves,soya sauce and salt and pepper and sugar.

voila!!

one plate of fries, 3 wings and a plate of frozen baked beans(yuck)

woohoo.!i took a photo too..

ok..looks quite gross but it still tasted ok.will work on it!^.^

potato jackets with cheese and ham tomorrow!=)

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

6:01 AM

the previous post is dedicated to people who think i'm not talking about and not dedicated to those who are sensitive and think i am talking about them.
yah..but if you still think i am talking about you, i can't do anything about it then.=)

anyway, i think being upset is a stupid thing so i'm just going to have selective memory and forget all about "those of you".Life's too short to have constant flashbacks.

no more posts like this i promise.-.^

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

7:55 PM

Dont be there for your friends cos they will never be there for you.

Thats the bloody damn truth in this world.
They are too busy..much too busy to care about mundane things like you being upset and need a crying shoulder.

Lend them yours today and they will chop it off.
Cry on their shoulder and they will throw that shirt away.

Common sense isnt it../
if u need someone to listen to you, call those hotlines with sexy voices on the other side.

cos no one will ever care if you cry yourself silly and go blind in the process.

go ahead..die all you want.

they will tell you that honestly.

i've been there for you,you you and you!..now where the hell are you people?

too busy huh?

well i expected that a long time ago.

friends..

when i was crying ..WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE???

FRIENDS?

maybe beer and wine will be my best friends
at least they give me a good sleep without thoughts
of how you used to be my friend

now i'm crying
now i'm hurting
tell me
tell me
where were u when i needed you the most?

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:55 AM

SO what's your problem?

Why can't u behave your age and be more sensible and less unreasonable,mum?

Do you know you are making a mockery out of yourself by being petty?

It suffocates us and i'm sure dad feels that way too..
but he's too kind to let you know that and we feel even worse for him.

So..the story goes..

she was upset that no one called her while she's at work..
like..DUH>?why will we call you unless something catastrophic has happened at home?

do you wish that i was choking on fish bones?or would you rather wallace or sis have something bad happen to them?fine, u can blame us for not being RESPONSIBLE enough to give you a call to ask how you were at work..but dad?

he's working for his boss and would you rather he take up a telemarketing post just to suit to your whims and fancies??

SERIOUSLY.

so you throw your tantrums on dad and sleep in the living room.

Now are you HAPPIER???
yah, go ahead..we dont care..this family is breaking apart and all you care about is yourself..u think dad is a well absorbing sponge and can take all your anger??

One day, he's going to take all his stuff, leave this house and this family.
Maybe then u will be satisfied.

RIGHT???
because of you, he's venting all his anger on us..and sometimes he dont wish too..you can see him with his face controlling all the anguish within.

Dad, i apologise for not putting up with your now and then "anger"..i will from now..sorry.

what you've done is..rob a man of his pride and status..go ahead..he'll leave when you are done.

Everyone's crying..but you are victorious.
You win.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:24 AM

EXPECTATIONS AND MORE EXPECTATIONS.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS.

today is a damn busy day cos my dad is rushing orders for his client.And i'm supposed to do the orders.

so..its like keep doing orders and orders ..black boxes all over the house and stacked up against the window.MAN..if there were any terrorist attacks, we will definitely be safe cos the boxes will block the windows.damn.

yah..regarding the frequently asked question of "so what have you been doing while we are doing PW?" question is answered.

people, i know you are all busy and stressed but dont assume i am relaxing in my summer chair sipping on a martini cos i am --busy or busier than you are.

to tell you the truth, i am suffering from backaches and headaches cos i work like a freaking machine.

FOR INSTANCE, today.
i have been working all day..and i mean ALL DAY..and rest around 50 seconds before i start doing orders again.

by far, i think i am doing more work than you.
So dont give me that smirk or laugh in that simply idiotic and very sarcastic way cos it annoys me.

SIR-RIOUSLY.

yeah..also had a debate with my dad.

conversation:

dad: so have u planned what to do in University after your A levels?

me: er, either Architecture or Social Sciences(criminal psychology)

dad:u mean those kind of course where u can't find a job in future??

me:HUH?

dad: aiyah, why like that?

interlude: talks about how good accountancy is..rambles on about SMU(dad)

dad: so what university do u want to go to?

me: NTU lor.

dad: huh?? why?? how about SMU?

me:(like i can get in..) HUH? i am not interested in business, accountancy or law..

me:besides, i need to take SATS.
dad: ...
dad: i think u should just go poly then find any job and do.got pay can already.

...

okay, i cant continue anymore.
its saddening to know that your parents think u are a hopeless bum who cant make it in Life.
well, must i be a Lawyer, Doctor or Scientist before you nod your head in approval?

sir riously.
maybe you should abduct a kid from Mensa or something.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

4:15 AM

Happy Birthday Jean.

To the both of you.(who share the same name and birthday)Will remember you always.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

10:54 AM

Just photos for today!!=)

hahaha..ok..took this during chem consultation.=)

he wasnt aware!

OYC'S birthday

Teacher's day

class outing=)

sarene and shimin..

them again

HAHA.

they look so mean.

shimin,jon,jaime,chengying=)

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

7:35 AM

feel really lazzyy today.very very lazy.

woke up at 1pm today(latest time ever)

did a bit of work; will do more later..currently typing in the dark, cos its 642 pm and the sun is setting.to my utter dismay of course.=)

will be buffing and varnishing my pathetic nails later and also be doing more productive work of course.;-)

yup..my mum hinted that i should start studying soon..
to mum: i'll be starting on the 1st of November.

ok..much to tired to type anymore..

sleeping early....NOT.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

3:40 AM

Guess the previous post was a bit harsh.

Well, everyone's got the right to be upset with upsetting results.Well, thank goodness i didnt get a U. cos my mum's fooled by the S-es..(kidding=) )

right, i will work really hard on math and chem this holidays.Like from next week onwards.

And for gp, to get from a C to an A, i will probably need extra (queen's ) english kind of books and poring over the newspapers for at least 2 hours a day reading the forum and World News should do some good.=)

Yes!... I need my As.....

Its probably some kind of reassurance for me because i really want to do Social Sciences in Uni..well, either that or Architecture( which is quite a guy kind of job) so math and gp has to be excellent!!!

yah yah yah.

study study study!

i'm going to cut myself from the World's problems and really start working smart.

2 months to the first test(phy, chem and geog) next year.

And..

no matter what happens to 501, i'll always remember this class cos it'll have a special place in my heart.<3

i am a softie when it comes to this kind of matters..-.<

whatever the controversy, 501 still rocks=)

Don't let the little things bring us down.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:23 AM

Revelations of revelations

Last Day Of School.

I thought today would be a great day but i was terribly wrong.

some are upset by the fact that they are advanced even though they thought they had fantastic results.

so..they carry black/grey/dull faces and a "dont piss me off " attitude.

well, take it on me if u think u didnt deserve that, wouldnt you?

beatrice should be killed/slaughtered/shot dead because she didnt deserve to get the same treatment as us, RIGHT?

understood.

c'mon, its not like i persuaded Ms Lai to alter the results. Nor did i conspire with any teachers to let u all "advance" and not "promote".To this statement, i mean ALL OF YOU.

If what i say was recognised, i would have persuaded the higher ups to promote every single one of you.

its ridiculous if u even show a grudge to anyone who got the same grades as you due to moderation.

you think we like it when we survive by heavily moderated grades.?u think we arent embarrassed by the fact that we needed moderation to save our lives?

spare some thought for us when u all throw your fit on us, the ones who barely survived.
THANK YOU.

yeah..moving on..

(at this point some of you might be cursing and swearing at me, go ahead, dont feel shy.)

i had a really bad day today.

if u really dont like me, say it out.

you wouldnt be the first anyway.

dont say nasty stuff in front of other people cos it really hurts my feelings.
thanks.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

4:49 AM

Thursday Thursday Thursday

I worked till my fingers are numb today.

Yeah, doing work for my dad currently. It's a real job of course thou i'm keeping an eye on others.0.0

It's mostly menial labour with the use of some machines.HAHA.

Today is also a day of experiment as i tried making salad with cooked stuff in it.

It includes crabmeat(cooked), diced apple cubes, lettuce and lots of mayo.

Came out quite nice too.(very happy lah.)

hehe. will start trying to cook desserts and main courses soon- but i guess i have to pay people to eat them.-.-

yeah..have to go back to school for prom night dry run next month for a couple of rather annoying days. like in the middle of the month and the end.
sigh.

i think i will just find those temporary of the temporary kind of jobs.

will start studying soon. fervously. of course.
Like maybe next week.

yup. i am such a sensible girl.=)

A levels on Monday...to all those taking it next week..GOOD LUCK!

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

4:19 AM

Love it when u call-The Feeling

I love it when u call
I love it when u call
I love it when u call
but u never call at all..

say what's the complication?
its our only conversation
i love it when u call
but u never call at all..~~~

my favourite song at the moment..(though sally recently sent me "No one" by Alicia Keys which is apparently, haunting my ear drums.)

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

11:17 AM

LOVE

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

11:16 AM

Good Day!^.^

It's a really pleasant day today.
Had photography meeting this afternoon regarding Prom Night 2007.

Compulsory for all members to cover that events.Which can only mean that i'll be able to take shots of friends and all.=)...so..time to treat me better if you want your glossy photos coming out nice and glamorous~!haha.kidding..

i should be practising shots using a new cam i have at home that is untouched and sitting beautifully on the table.ok..wait till my sis finds the mem card.

Yup. then went out with my sis to eat and shop. really appreciate the stuff she bought for me.=)(thanks sis!)
yeah..got a new black crop jacket to wear with tank tops and spag tops..
also got a new pair of sennheiser headphones which i am listening to music with right now. nice surround effect.

yippee..no more unpleasant electricity seepages from the sony earphones.

pretty awesome day i will say...the darn photo upload isnt working again..so no photos..=(

wait till i get my LG shine KU970..hehehe..it will be a perfect match with the new headphones..=)

ok..thats all for now..
ciao.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:26 AM

It's like 130 am in the morning and i am blogging.

Sigh..

The woes of this piteous world.

Flip the papers -see people dying, a hundred of possibilities of the "way u die"

OK.so today's countdown is ..

the top ten best way to die( not suicide cos u dont wanna go to hell)

No.10

Get eaten by cute furry animals.
That is the likes of bugs bunny,hamsters,rabbits and dogs(preferably Teacup pomeranian)

no 9

eat lots and lots and lots of cheese fries and burgers till u choke to death.

no8

if that above doesnt kill you, try eating somemore!~..sure die from cholesterol levels!!

no.7
ok...i think i should not carry on...quite gory.

lets see..

the 23 of Oct ...does it strike a bell?..

very familiar date...never mind ..killing my brain cells.

1.30AM

FREEZING COLD and typing at my workdesk. trying to be as silent as possible cos mum's a lightsleeper. 18 people online..not bad.talking to sally and huiqi on MSN..but think they are just blabbering nonsense most of the time.WELL, look at the time..who wouldnt.?

however the news has it that more clubs are opening from 3 am onwards so maybe they are awake and blabbering nonsense.haha.

anyway, school's closing soon and its time to look for a job..found a particularly good job. Its data entry at Marina and the pay is like 8 dollars per hr..not bad for a non retail job.

however, unfortunately, the person i contacted have not replied.Time to look for a new one then..
sigh..i am so bored.

ok, time to go chat somemore..nite!

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

10:23 AM

in between mayhems and celebrations

It's that boring time of the year again..and you know it.

You go online and see the same few contacts again and again.
Then, u flip open the magazine and see the same few stinking pieces of overdue celeb gossips sprawled on every page.Tabloids.sigh~

You totter along to Facebook and poke and throw stuff at your friends, race them with your stupid looking bike and then hope to get a higher score on SuperMario.

Man.So this is what Life is about?

ok, so today i am going to figure out the five most exciting things i can do without getting caught by the Police.

No.5#
Cheapest thrill of all.
Scenario: Go to the nearest drink dispensing machine.
Exchange all your ten and twenty cents for larger denominations.

What u need: Lots and Lots of 10 and 20 cent coins.go ahead, piss off that loser behind you trying to get a can drink after a hot day under the Sun playing soccer.

No.4#
Go to a really busy place like Orchard or Bugis and try clothes.
Scenario: Pick out 4 or 5 flattering tops and pants.Take your time to try the clothes in the dressing room.
After freaking out the sales assistant for half a day, throw all the clothes at her (not literally)
and run out of the boutique.

No.3#
Go to macdonalds to read magazines and chat.
Scenario: Buy a cup of chocolate hot fudge.sit all day with your friends and leave half a cup on the table.They can't chase you away huh.=)

No.2#
Go to Sentosa for the whole day.Don't eat, drink or buy any of that erhem*cheaptouristparaphernalia*erhem

its just 2 dollars!

No.1#

Drum roll roll roll rolll....

Borrow your neighbour's phone to make an "Emergency call".
Then, chat all day with your best pal and watch your neighbour's face go green, red then purple when u finally finish after 5 hours leaving the phone smoking at its ends.

Yep, thats about it.Kind of stupid but loads of fun guaranteed.

Afterall, its boring October.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

5:11 AM

Things I have to Do

Spoilers:Please be forewarned that i will be rambling on about my to-do list and also the targets and timeline for the next two months before 2008.

October 22-26: Find a job/Meet CT/Get report slip

Whole of Nov:Work/ work/ study /study/ study

Whole of Dec:Holiday/study/study/study

For the whole of the next two months, i'm going to replenish my starved bank account and also my brain cells that are on a vacation.

For that matter, i am going to work triple-ly hard and cover the entire j1 syllabus again.
hmm, i sincerely hope no one will feel a need to compete with my timeline because if u wish to, u are most welcomed to do so..lol..^.^

to huiqi: Lets get As for geog and prove that the impossible can be done!

to show my sincerity, i have packed all my J1 notes in large ring files..and have folders to split the notes into the various topics..man, i feel motivated.=)

i really hope to never see another "U" in my result slip.And that includes Chemistry.

Labels: New Leaf^.^

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:16 AM

Promo Results.

Yeah. Its finally out..

Rumours/facts had it that if u didnt receive a call from mj within these 2 days, u are safe.
Safe as in promoted.

Received a call from my CT today asking me to ask my parents to see him.

Quite a weird conversation.

CT: Beatrice, i need to see your parents.

me: ok. Sir, am i in trouble?

CT:( pause) ey..not really lah.

me:oh.

CT: i need to talk to them about j2 stuff and your results.(sounds like he's giggling)

me: ok, got it.i'll ask my parents and get back to you.

CT:yep, ohkye.

me:bye.

this is one of the weirdest conversations i have had cos i am talking to a higher order authority like he's my childhood friend.-.-

glad there will be no merger with other classes.

to all those out there who are advanced, dont be disheartened but do work hard.

It's OK to start studying now. 6 months to A level prelims!!(ok, i am bad at counting)

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

10:30 PM

I CREATED A QUIZ.

Go take this quiz PLEASE.

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=071017112659-679206&

See how much u know about me..curious right? GO NOW!=)

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:28 AM

Random stuff in Life can be important too..

Like watching a movie with your friends, being dorky,sitting down to have heart to heart talks with your groupies.

During this transition period between work and studies, i will take the chance to put a non-curricular activities' timeline of photos(collage) of 07s501,with love.=)

501 after 2nd intake

Ikea Committee Meeting^.^

me, yeong chyun,huiqi,sarene

Teachers' Day-501

Huiqi; PLEASE LAH.

During this short time i know these people, i really found friendship and the importance to treasure it.

Come what may, you people will always be my friends..although i fear that things may change as we proceed to next year,I am willing to isolate myself from you all for the sake of doing well for my As if theres a need to. I will study as hard and effectively as possible until my As. History WILL NOT repeat itself. It will be dormant and stay as it is.

I apologise beforehand for my selfishness and hope you will forgive me--i have no other choice.

Due to some technical difficulties, i am unable to upload more photos..sigh..will do so in my next post.

Keep a look out, friends!=)

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

7:14 AM

Fate In Your Hands

Tomorrow; The end of the World.

the butterflies keep increasing in my stomach as i await my fate.

Tomorrow, will probably be the release of the promotional criteria.(to the CTs)

Not like i havent been through this cursed cycle. i keep telling myself i get what i give, i wait for what i expect.

It may not be so bad after all but the negative feeling keeps churning within me.

i 'm through with crying and regretting and i have choosen to face my consequences as an 18 year 7 month old person.

Lets hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.

i just want it all to end.

Fate has in store for us things we can not imagine.

so be it.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:51 AM

you

this post is directed to many people whom i wish to keep anonymous.

person #1

You think you really know me. u condemn my attitude and use rules and statistics to bind me.

I'll prove to you that i am not who i am if i ever get that chance.For now, all i can do is face this frustration alone because there isnt even a feeble attempt by anyone to ever try to help me out with my mistakes.

person#2

Are u really that concerned about what is happening, happened and going to happen?

i believe in miracles but i bet you dont.

person#3

you said u will try to lend a listening ear when i need someone who doesnt take sides.
Where the hell are you now?

Everything is falling apart and no one cares.

Its my concern; you mean its not yours too?

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

3:58 AM

I interrupt my daily posts to bring you an urgent update on the hectares of nature we have destroyed or polluted.

We have got to catch the 11th Hour in cinemas.

Cos things have gotten real bad on our planet.( quote: Malthusian Theory,Meadow's Limit to growth theory and the IPAT model)

Dreams of living on other planets and stars are still---a dream.Afterall.

The movie talks about the ecological footprints we have marked on our world along with the many different possible outcomes we are about to see with our massacre of the green and nature on Earth.

Its time to wake up and answer to the warning sirens of all natural(or is it?) disasters.

Go green, save the planet.

So the next time you shop at a supermarket or buy something really fancy at Ikea, bring your own carrier.

It's time we do something about our mistakes.

Labels: Going green

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

10:54 PM

Holiday blues.

i am awaiting my fate and also looking for a job which can reasonably hold my attention for a week.
which is impossible.
yeah..so i think i 'll get my results first, then study and work with my friends.

i hate to work alone.

feeling very emotional-probably due to the comforting weather and the romantic nightsky(ok..maybe not so) .

****************************

Sometimes i wish you were dead

not around

unheard

unfelt

invisible

yet there are times

where it all changes

into and out of dreams

like a lone ranger in between dimensions

intervals of fear, pain and tragedies

so tell me where you are

and what do you want.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

8:33 AM

LUST,CAUTION.

Lust, Caution.

It's summed up as a complete waste of time.

Sir-riously speaking, i would rather have spent my time writing an essay or drinking coffee.

It was sooo boring that a guy snored very LOUDLY behind me.

HAHA.

two old uncles who were at the direct end of my row were completely disappointed by the *erhem erhem* scenes and took it out on the teenagers behind them.

"KEEP QUIET!"

one of the ah peh shouted in the middle of the movie.

i will not elaborate on the sypnosis because apparently there are still some people who haven't caught the show yet.

Being NC16, the movie is cut to an extent that the hyped display of emotions were badly affected. What was screened was a poorly illustrated war-revenge-heroine kind of movie making it extremely hard for the audience to share the journey with the screen cast.

in other words, don't catch the NC16 film.

get the R21 if u are of age. Dont compromise on the one shown in cinemas.

"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."

7:05 AM